Building up believers and the New Testament church

Unlawful Relationships & True Repentance

What About Matthew 5 & 19?

You may say, "The Lord, in His Word (Matthew 5:31,32; 19:9), gave me the right to divorce my spouse for unfaithfulness to me. It says that if you put away your wife for any cause but fornication, you cause her to commit adultery, and the one who is joined to her also commits adultery. I was the innocent party, and in this verse the Lord is giving me the right to divorce and remarry." May I suggest an explanation of these verses that is in agreement with the rest of Scripture, as the above interpretation is not?

Luke 16:18 and Mark 10:11,12 also speak about this question of divorce, and they do not include the phrase "except it be for fornication." The possible reason for this is that the gospels of Mark and Luke are directed to the Gentile people, while Matthew's is directed to the Jews. Marriage customs among these peoples are different. Among the Jewish people, the espousal (engagement) period was very binding. In fact, the espousal time was used not only for preparation, but also to see whether there was any unfaithfulness. During this period of time, "putting away," or divorce, was allowed if fornication was committed. The example of Joseph seeking to put away his espoused wife Mary during this time (Matthew 1:19) helps us to understand how binding the Jewish espousal period was.

If a man is using these scriptures in our time as justification for putting away his wife, after they have come together in physical union and lived together as husband and wife, he is using them in a way that is out of context. If fornication or adultery is a valid excuse for divorce, why didn't Mark and Luke include it in their accounts? It is very shaky ground indeed that you are standing on, if this is the reason for your actions.

In the case of unfaithfulness, there can be forgiveness, even if your spouse wants to live apart from you. But you should either remain alone or be reconciled to your spouse. Only the death of one marriage partner causes the marriage vow to cease to exist (see I Corinthians 7:10,11,39).